Re: Hey Ron, How you doin?

Hey Ron,

Sleeping on the street is decent, but defiantly not as comfortable as I expected.

I raid the backs of the supermarkets around 9:15 pm- that gives me a first pick of the days leftovers. I also carry a small knife so when I do eat or sleep I have some protection from the other make shifters. Its a crazy world out here on the streets, but I have some company. I made a small squirrel my bitch! I got this old shoelace.. I tied it to him like a leash, and I trained him to crawl in through windows and retrieve crackers for the soup kitchens.

Ok he would be a little offended If he found out I was telling you he is my bitch...

I named him Bel, he tells me his problems (mostly about how its not an easy task chasing the female's before impressing them with his array of squirrel like tail dances. He explains to me that that the only way he can get laid), and I tell him mine (mostly just to get them outta my own head)...

He's actually my best friend, my only friend up here. It gets cold. I've given thought to cutting Bel open and using his tiny skin as a warmer, (you know like in Star Wars when Luke crawls in the camel thing) Well I guess I wouldn't get much more out of his tiny body than a slipper or a loose coin pouch. He's more valuable to me alive as my wing man. Maybe I'll convince him to use his good looks to seduce other squirrels to come into my apartment (box) so I can ambush them! Enough victims to make a pair of slippers, a pair of gloves, and a nice hat to last me through the winter. With my new squirrel fashion line I could afford to be burred by the snow (like the very nuts a squirrel hides), waiting for the Spring to melt me out. Really thats the best time of the year.

I guess I would have to do something for him in return. Maybe he would like to wear a nice fur squirrel coat...

I guess Im depending on all of this to working out; otherwise, I might be found years in the future. "historic ice man found around what was once considered Time Square, officials say the ice man froze to death 100 years ago in the year 2008 while pursuing his dreams." for some reason knowing the news media, they would also provide some additional useless information like "Scientists were able to identify some of the last contents in his stomach to be an old shoeless, and a small squirrel."

Sorry I know Im a nerd. Believe it or not this was a normal e-mail, but quickly it changed into something else. It serves as an indirect answer..

Needed something new to tell you..

-your better half